


Recovery

by heavenly-glance (SidneyHam)



Series: shadowhunters episode codas [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode: s02e08 Love is a Devil, M/M, Mentions of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 22:59:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9927890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SidneyHam/pseuds/heavenly-glance
Summary: After Max's rune ceremony, Alec and Magnus find some time to talk and comfort each other.Episode coda for 2x08





	

**Author's Note:**

> guess who's back with another coda?? 
> 
> I posted on tumblr that I wanted to write a fic where everyone gets a break from the craziness of the world. This is it, just mostly focused on Alec and Magnus, of course

The late afternoon sun shone through the stained glass windows, warming the room with its colors. Max’s rune ceremony was beautiful. For a few hours, the Lightwoods were able to forget about Valentine, demons, and other threats to focus on the youngest member of their family. Alec walked with his brother down the aisle with family and friends on either side of them: Jace and Clary to the right, and Maryse and Izzy to the left. 

And when Max got his first rune, all eyes were on him. For ten seconds, they celebrated the young shadowhunter. Alec watched as Jace pulled Clary away, talking about her safety, he supposed. Maryse dismissed the Silent Brother and the family was alone. 

 

“Max, come with me to the kitchen so we can dig into the delicious cake you picked out.” Maryse said as she took Max by the shoulder and led him towards the exit. The rest of the shadowhunters followed suit, Isabelle’s heels clicking on the floor as she rushed after her little brother into the institute’s kitchen.

When Jace left Alec and Clary alone, the now familiar guilt crawled up his spine. He desperately wanted to believe that she truly didn’t blame him, and the sincerity in her eyes allowed him to pat her arm in recognition. He hasn’t forgiven himself yet; isn’t sure that he ever will. 

As he walked closer to Jace and his mother, Alec overheard Maryse apologize, and the tightness in his chest loosened a bit. It broke his heart when the first tear fell from his mother’s eyes. Even in her weakest moment, he realized, she was truly beautiful. How anyone could cheat on her, he would never understand. As he held his sobbing mother in his arms, Alec made two vows.

 

One, he would give Maryse another chance to redeem herself. She’d made things right with Jace and the next logical step would be to apologize to Magus.

As for the second, Alec vowed to never hurt Magnus in such a way that Robert hurt Maryse. He couldn’t see the future, but he knew with all of his heart that he wanted one with the warlock. He couldn’t imagine intentionally hurting him, and he promised to try his best to always be a safe space for Magnus.

 

~

 

Max was on his second piece of cake when Alec walked into the kitchen. He looked incredibly tired, but his eyes lit up when they landed on his youngest sibling. 

 

“Is the cake good?” He asked as he cut a small slice for himself. Max hummed in agreement, his mouth full with a bit of frosting on his chin. Alec smiled and grabbed a napkin to wipe Max’s face. He looked up sheepishly and mumbled a quick “thanks” before shoveling more cake into his mouth. After he’d finished the last bite, Max cleared his throat to get his brother’s attention.

“Alec, I’m sorry. About last night.” Alec frowned as he remembered the night he so desperately wanted to forget. Max continued, “I didn’t mean to be so mean to Magnus. But he’s the first warlock I’ve ever met… and it was a little scary.” He shrugged, suddenly very interested in the empty plate before him. “But it wasn’t very nice to ask him all those things about the darker parts of him. And I’m sorry I didn’t make a very good first impression. Magnus must hate me.” Alec’s gaze sharpened at that, locking eyes with his brother as he leaned on the counter to speak.

“Max, Magnus doesn’t hate you. In fact, I’m afraid he thinks _you_  hate _him_.” Max’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “He was so excited to meet you. I understand that you’d feel a little uncomfortable in a strange warlock’s home for the first time. I did.” Alec blushed at that, hoping Max wouldn’t notice. “But there’s a reason why I asked Magnus to have the party at his place. I wanted Mom to know that Magnus, as my… boyfriend,” the word felt odd coming from his mouth for the first time, “isn’t going away. I guess we’re sort of a packaged deal.” Alec finished with a lopsided smile, emotion clear on his face.

“Do you love Magnus?” Max asked simply. And Alec paused to think about that. A week ago he would’ve outright shut the idea down. But now… he was allowed to think of love. He loved Magnus’ laugh, and his hands as they danced with magic. He loved many things about Magnus.

“It’s still really early in the relationship, Max. I think it’s a bit more complicated than a yes or no. But yeah, I think I could love him, if we continue dating like we are.” Alec didn’t expect Max to understand, but he was surprised when his little brother just smiled and nodded. 

 

When Alec glanced at his phone, he saw that he’d missed a message from Magnus. It was getting late, and Alec wished Max a good night as he headed towards the loft he’d began to think of as a second home. 

 

~

 

It was late in the evening when Magnus heard the soft knock at his door. Alec quietly snuck inside, calling to Magnus softly, as if he’d been afraid to disturb the peace. The apartment looked different from before, couches were rearranged and lamps were changed after the party. Magnus sauntered in the main room, a smirk on his lips as he greeted Alec with a quick kiss.

“Ah yes, I felt the urge to redecorate after last night’s extravagance. Do you like it?” He asked, arms spread wide as if revealing some expensive piece of artwork. Alec simply nodded. Sensing his boyfriend’s mood, Magnus gestured to the smaller of the couches.

“Sit, please. Let me grab a drink.” Magnus disappeared into his kitchen, returning seconds later with two wine glasses full of clear liquid. When Alec raised a brow, Magnus snickered and handed a glass to him.

“Relax, it’s only water, my dear.” Magnus pat his knee when Alec flushed a deep pink. “I know you didn’t come here to drink. What’s on your mind?” Alec took a long gulp of his water.

“I just. It’s just been a really long weekend. I wish we could just freeze time. For just a few days, I don’t want to worry about Valentine or the war or my parents. We never have time to just… be still and talk, you know?” Alec’s elbows were leaning on his knees and he wasn’t fully seated on the couch, as if he felt he’d need to leave soon. Magnus carefully placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back into the couch, a silent reminder to relax, that he was there to stay and to listen.

“I know what you mean,” Magnus began with a bitter smile. “I wish I could do that for you, Alexander. But even my magic has its limits. Time must go on. But, it’s not too incredibly late, yes? We still have a few good hours left in the night, then we’ll get a good night’s sleep, and I’ll make breakfast in the morning, okay?” Magnus looked so encouraging that Alec didn’t have to think twice about spending the night. It would be nice to just be together, even for only a few hours.

“Yeah, okay.” And there was that soft smile Magnus had come to love seeing on Alec’s face. He watched as it slowly faded into confusion when Magnus set both his and Alec’s glass down on the coffee table and turned to face the shadowhunter.

“Alec, I want to talk to you about last night, if that’s alright.” And aside from a resigned sort of look on his face, Alec didn’t protest. “Iris was messing with our heads, playing with our greatest insecurities and fears. Poor Clary was in tears when she thought the vampire boy had abandoned her. Jace knocked out your mother while hallucinating that she had tried to kill him.”

Alec nodded along. He only knew bits and pieces from short conversations with Jace, but it was good to hear the whole story. Although, he felt a sinking feeling deep in his gut when he realized where the conversation was going. 

 

“That spell she cast. It affected our minds so that what we saw and heard wasn’t reality. But it didn’t affect our thoughts, emotions, or actions.” Magnus looked at Alec pointedly. “I understand that you feel guilty about Jocelyn’s death. I’ve been alive for centuries, there are many people who’ve deaths I have - and still do - feel guilty about. You are a good man, Alexander. Be kind to yourself… please.” 

“Clary called me just before you arrived this evening. She told me that whatever the spell had made you think she said, that you went straight to the roof after only a few moments.” Magnus was grasping at Alec’s hands now, begging him to listen. But yet, he still tried to look away from Magnus’ steady gaze. “Alec, Alec please, look at me.” He released one of Alec’s hands then, only to gently cup his cheek and turn his face towards himself once again.

“I’ve been there, Alexander. I know the turmoil in your head. I have been on that ledge before, ready to end it all. But someone stopped me, cared enough to talk me down so that I could be here today, with you. But Alec, you… you stepped off the ledge. If I had been only seconds later, I couldn’t have-” Magnus broke off with a choking sort of sound, and he was clutching Alec’s hand so tight it hurt. But Alec couldn’t care less about his hand at that moment, because the beautiful warlock before him was trying very hard to hold back tears. 

“I know… I know that you don’t understand this yet, Alexander. But you are… incredibly dear to me. I don’t think that I would survive that, Alec. If you’d died,” Magnus was breathing heavily now, tears flowing freely down his face. “I can’t lose you. You have to know that.”

Alec responded in the only way he knew how. Through touch. He carefully pried his hands out of the warlock’s grasp, only for Alec to run his hands up Magnus’ arms, shifting closer so he was in his personal space. His hands came up behind and around Magnus’ neck, and when he closed his eyes, Alec pressed their foreheads together. 

Arms wound around Magnus’ back, clutching tightly to the fabric of his shirt as Alec all but climbed onto him before letting out a pained sound and hugged him. The warmth of his embrace relaxed him, even as Alec started to tremble, ever so slightly. 

“I didn’t know,” He whispered, “I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want you to think of me like this… weak.” Hiding his face in Magnus’ shoulder, Alec let the first tear fall. “I’m sorry. By the Angel, I am so sorry Magnus. I didn’t think, I wasn’t thinking when I was up there. But you… you saved me, Magnus, thank you.” Alec shuddered as Magnus clung to him. “I’m sorry you had to see that… but I’m glad you were there, to stop it.”

“Oh, Alexander.” Magnus pulled away a little then, so he could hold Alec’s face in place with both hands. “I will always be there for you, got it? Always.” Alec made a soft sound, once again burying his face in the crook of Magnus’ neck. The warlock let out a little breathy laugh when he felt gentle kisses being pressed into the skin of his neck. 

“Hey. Hey, stop for a second okay?” Alec leaned away from him then, eyes still closed and biting his lower lip. God, Magnus wanted to kiss him. But there were more important matters at the moment. “Alec, are you okay? Please… be honest with me.” Alec opened his eyes and pressed his lips together in thought.

“Not… not yet. But I will be. With you here, I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.” And that was one of the best responses Magnus could’ve asked for. Suddenly, the distance between them was far too much, and Magnus curled his fingers in Alec’s hair, drawing him closer to ease the ache in his chest that seemed to appear when Alec was close but not close enough.

 

The air between them was thick and heavy, and Magnus didn’t want to disturb the quiet peace so he whispered when he asked if he could kiss Alec. He made this soft, disbelieving sound before nodding quickly. And Magnus had to force himself to stop smiling so he could finally press their lips together. It was so worth it though, when Alec sighed and parted his lips a little. 

He doesn’t know how long they stayed there on the couch like that, but at some point his toes started to get cold so he summoned a few blankets. And really, who was he to complain when Alec laughed and pulled a blanket around them, wrapping them up in their own little world. Magnus pressed soft kisses to his forehead, his eyelids, even nuzzled their noses together - which earned him another laugh from Alec. 

“It tickles!” He breathed out, catching on to the curious tilt of Magnus’ head. “Your eyelashes… they’re so long.” Alec sighed, whispering against the warlock’s lips, “I wish we could stay here, like this, forever.”

Magnus hummed in agreement before resuming his quest of mapping out Alec’s face with his lips. When he reached his mouth, Alec tried - and failed - to suppress a yawn. Magnus smiled fondly, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

“Let’s go to bed, hm?” He stood up and held a hand out to Alec, who followed suit, though he was still wrapped in one of the blankets. “Oh, you’re adorable.” Alec scowled, which only spurred Magnus on. After a few seconds of kisses and shared laughter, the two finally made it to the bedroom. 

They undressed each other slowly, pausing for soft kisses every so often. It wasn’t rushed, it wasn’t heated. There was a time for sex, and a time for intimacy. They understood that tonight, they just needed the comfort of someone by their side. Magnus crawled under the sheets first, patting the open space next to him in invitation. Who was Alec to refuse such an offer?

 

There they lay, facing each other in Manus’ large bed, two figures curled together, whispering to each other sweet nothings. And the world was at peace, for just a little while. Be it calm before the storm, or something else entirely, they had turned the night into gentle quietness. Alec fell asleep with Magnus holding one hand, and the other tracing patterns onto his scarred and runed skin. Others may have turned away in distaste at the clear signs of battle, but to Magnus, he only saw beauty in Alec’s healed wounds. It was proof that Alec survived, that he lived, and he was here with Magnus.

Yes, he thought, we will be okay. Magnus drifted off into sleep, curled into Alec’s side. There was no place he’d rather be. And so the warlock and shadowhunter slept peacefully for the first time in months. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> come find me on tumblr 'winteralec' and we can suffer together


End file.
